How accomplishing a small task can make a world of difference.

I suffer from depression and imposter syndrome. One of the reasons I had started a business was so that I could send my daughter to daycare guilt free.

Although, it's not entirely guilt free, as my over bearing filipino mama constant guilts me for sending her to daycare. Forever reminding me that they're only little for so long and I'm wasting my time with her by working and not spending every day with her. *Eye roll*.

But luckily I'm very good at my job, I love being a boudoir photographer. I'm good at making people feel good about themselves, and I capture beautiful portraits. And I feel less guilty putting my daughter in daycare, knowing I'm making a difference to peoples lives.

Unfortunately though, a lot of my confidence comes from running a successful business. So when the RBA announced they were raising the cash rate, the same time as fuel in Melbourne was at an all time high and groceries seemed unaffordable, my enquiries slowed right now. They were pretty much non existent. And so was my confidence, I was shaken.

I pride myself on being a successful small business owner, and it came pretty easily to me. I've overcome a lot of hardships in my life. My step-parent was abusive, I got married at 19, had a baby before 21, my husband had been deported, I lost a baby, COVID, the list goes on. But what I mean by this, was that I've dealt with a lot, so small business issues never bothered me. Im pretty resilient. But having no enquiries meant I wasn't working, I wasn't shooting boudoir. And that for me, is unbearable. I love my work, I love waking up and going to the studio. I love my clients, I love photographing them, I love everything about my job. So not being able to do it, really brought me down.

Luckily, within a few weeks, people were less anxious about the cost of living and enquiries were popping back up. Just not as much as I'd like. And probably not enough to cover the bills. So I needed to do something, something different. I needed to be creative, I needed to do something with my hands.

So I designed a new photography set, I wanted something romantic and beautiful, something unique, something that was a selling point. I wanted to create something that people would see and could only have those photos with me, because no one else had the same set.

And since I cant relinquish creative control, I had to do it myself. I went to The Reject shop and bought plant pots. Painted them and screwed them together creating an urn. I then created a wholesale account with a floral wholesaler and went and picked up some florals. I took them all to the studio and got to work.

I loved it! It was amazing to be doing something creative and using my hands. It was so cathartic styling them and arranging the set. I felt so accomplished, setting out to create something beautiful and achieving it.

It was the first time I'd ever done any floral arranging, but it certainly wont be the last.

I plan on using the new set up for boudoir photography, maternity photography and styled portraits.

I'll add some videos of the set up and once I shoot it with some clients, I'll upload them to the site too.